- You can't decide if the small podge on your waist is the start of a baby bump or simply chocolate biscuits. Either way your clothes are getting tight and uncomfortable
- You can just about function in a vertical position for 2 hours, then you need to recharge. You've lost all of your Duracell abilities and are forced to re-hydrate, on not much more than water, and of course, chocolate biscuits, in an attempt to carry on with your day
- Your mood swings are more apparent than schizophrenia
- You work calendar is impossible to manage around your strange and unpredictable urges to either pee or stuff your face (normally with chocolate biscuits). I had to excuse myself the other day from a management meeting to inhale a chocolate brownie, it suddenly became a life and death situation, it was the brownie or my baby was going to start eating me from the inside out
- You feel like a walking multi zone wine fridge, only you can't keep each zone at the right temperature. Your head will suddenly seem too hot, whilst your feet are freezing and then all of a sudden your feet start jumping around with irritable leg syndrome whilst your shoulders start shivering
- Your favorite food has become the enemy, giving you at best only "wind" but at worst, nights full of heartburn and sicky burps
- Your dreams have turned from nothing important, or memorable, into Brad Pitt orgies in birthing pools, with Brad Pitt holding the poop scoop
- A conversation with anyone about your woe's is impossible because your friends without babies don't understand, your friends that are trying for babies are envious and your friends with babies can only remember the "baby smell" and "how it's all worth it"
- Your husband can't associate with your problems because you don't look pregnant and he still thinks that life will be a bunch of roses and that nothing will change when the baby arrives
- And your brain has just started the process of turning to mush, so you may have already forgotten what you read at the start of this post
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Monday, 17 October 2016
It sucks to be pregnant sometimes
OK, I've had enough now...can we fast forward 7 months where I get to hold the pink, smiley, thing that smells of "baby" and that will coo and chirp at me.
Yeah I know I'm dreaming, but for anyone else wondering what it really feels like to be 11 weeks pregnant:
Anyway, nothing I can do about it now, I got myself into this and hopefully my baby will come out of it (as it were). But I will happily admit that I don't think I'm going to be good at this pregnancy malarky...