Doulas - a friend in an hour of need

So I was brave and went to my very first "baby group" thing yesterday.

Doulas of Bangkok meet on the 4th Saturday every month at Kuppa,  39 Sukhumvit 16, Khlong Toei, Bangkok 10110 (see My Map page for directions)

I met with Fran, Andrea and Jess this Saturday and wow, what a relief it was to talk to ladies that were experienced in (a) pregnancy and childbirth and (b) healthcare in Thailand. It is not nice to constantly think ill of the healthcare service here, because it is full of highly skilled people, but the culture of Thailand makes the policies, principles and bed side manner in Thailand very different from home and these ladies are not afraid to talk about it, and the struggles it can cause for pregnant expats.

Considering the emotional roller coaster we have been on in the last 18 months TTC I was rather overcome with the ease in which I could talk to these ladies and how amazing it was to get honest answers, opinions and advice.

Irrespective of whether you are going to have a doula for any part of your pregnancy, birth or after, I highly recommend speaking to these ladies. The coffee in Kuppa is good and the conversation can be free and easy and you can discuss all of your fears, worries, anxiety and horror stories of being pregnant in Thailand.

They know most of the doctors, they know what they are good at, and can warn you if their bed side manner is not the best. We also discussed how doctors are during labour, how they react to mum, dad and doula and what the typical process is in Thailand.

Things I learnt:

• Doulas are as much about being there for dad, as they are for mum. If you are worried about how dad will cope, or if dad will be able to support you, a doula sounds like a great option to (a) help you but also (b) help dad to help you - keeping him calm and suggesting ways he can help
• Unsurprisingly the Thai medical profession is pro Elective C Sections in Thailand. Doulas are ready to assist you through any type of birth, but it is fair to say that they are likely to be more pro Natural options - but will not judge you in any way for your decision no matter what that is
• It is normal for Hospitals to give you a sedative after a C Section, but you can request not to have this
• Hospitals may give your baby formula milk whilst you are sleeping off the sedation - to avoid anything happening to your baby that you are not aware of send dad off to the nursery
• They don't really do skin to skin immediately after birth here as they think the labour room is too cold. But a great idea from the doulas was to get dad to carry out some dad bonding and skin to skin action (it will raise some eyes when dad strips off his shirt, but who cares!)
• They don't have gas and air in Thailand, but you can hire a TENS machine from BAMBI
• If you choose to have a natural birth and things are taking a little longer than you or the doctor hoped for they will probably suggest an unplanned C Section - this is not an emergency C Section, it just means that they want to move things along quicker for you, or maybe you have decided that this natural stuff is not for me. If this happens (or an emergency C Section) the surgical rooms are very close and they cause as little stress and chaos as possible
• Bumrungrad seems more receptive to Doulas than Samitivej, although Doulas do support families in all hospitals, wherever needed
• Hospitals rarely have official Principles to refer to - much can be down to your Doctor

Having chewed their ears off for 3 solid hours Fran kindly took my details and said she will get back to me with names of doulas that will be available around our due date and also some evidence based information to help me make some important decisions about child birth options, breast feeding, bonding etc.

I had a lovely time, and I once again apologise for talking so much, but it was invaluable time and advice for me. Thank you!